


It Was Always Supposed to Happen Like This

by Darwig3



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9279062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darwig3/pseuds/Darwig3
Summary: soulmate alternate meetingSoulmates share marks and are able to feel each others emotions. And sometimes that can really suck.Trigger warning: depression, bipolar, self-harm referenced.





	1. Chapter 1

Pain bloomed across the top of Isak’s thigh. He slapped his hand over it, putting pressure on a wound that wasn’t actually there. He took a big breath in, letting it out slowly. He could see Jonas side eyeing him, a raise of his eyebrows asking, “you alright?” Isak swallowed thickly, taking a moment to collect himself, breathing through it as the pain changed from sharp to dull. He nodded as an answer to Jonas, his eyes not leaving his math test.  
  
Isak waited until the room was mostly clear before gathering his things. He hobbled to the desk, dropping his test before walking out into the clear hallway. He noticed Jonas waiting for him as he rounded the corner.  
  
“Your soulmate again?” He asked though he didn’t need to. And though he had seen Isak go through this many times before his eyes still showed such empathy it made Isak blush.  
  
“Yeah. Just once this time,” he said as he continued to walk down the hallway, his left leg stinging with every step. Jonas followed him even though his next class was in the other direction.  
  
“Well that’s kind of good?”  
  
“I mean I’d much prefer if my soulmate didn’t cut themselves at all, but…”  
  
They both came to a stop in front of Isak’s locker. Isak sighed as he fought with the lock. He gave up trying to get it open, turning to Jonas for help. He pulled out his wallet, slipping out his debit card and used it to break into Isak’s locker for him. He watched Isak rifle around in the small cubby, shoving things in haphazardly, making an even bigger mess that was sure to cause him more trouble next time he had to open it.  
  
“Isak?”  
  
“Yeah?” He said trying and failing to close the locker.  
  
“This isn’t your fault.”  
  
“Yeah,” he turned to Jonas, “I know,” he said. The way he wouldn’t meet Jonas’ eyes and the tears gathering in his ducts told Jonas otherwise. Jonas knew how much of a bitch the soulmate bond could be. When he was nine his soulmate broke their arm. Jonas’s arm ached for weeks. All that pain and not even a cool cast to go with it. And of course it was the right arm. So yeah, Jonas knew how painful it could be, but he only knew the physical side of it. He couldn’t begin to imagine the emotional toll this would have on a person. Knowing that your soulmate was hurting themselves and not being able to to a damn thing about it.  
  
“Isak…”  
  
“Leave it alone Jonas, not here, I don’t need everybody knowing.”  
  
Jonas put up his hands in surrender, Isak gave him a grateful smile as he tried again to close his locker, this time he succeeded. He swung his bag back over his shoulder and worked it until it was comfortable. He squared off with Jonas once he was ready, but instead of Jonas taking it as a cue to start walking to class, he took it as a cue to wrap Isak in a tight bear hug. Isak melted into him quickly. Hoped his soulmate couldn’t feel the way his heart was hammering against his chest. “It’ll all work out, Isak, this is your soulmate. Everything will turn around once you find them.”  
  
Isak wished he could believe that. He wanted to believe that he’d meet his soulmate and they’d do a 180. But Jonas was being naïve, and Isak knew that. Isak knew mental illness, he’d had to care for his mother on his own for the past few years, ever since his dad left them when he found his soulmate. Isak knew that mental illness went deep, it couldn’t be fixed by such a trivial thing as love.  
  
Isak had feared waking up one day and finding his mark gone. But of course that would be ridiculous. He wouldn’t just wake and find it gone. He would feel everything leading up to it slowly fading from his skin. How ever his soulmate would decide to end it, he’d be there with them through all of it. He’d feel everything, just a dulled down version of whatever his soulmate was experiencing. It wasn’t so much the physical pain that got to Isak. It was the debilitating feeling of sadness and worthlessness that kept him in bed some days. If what he was feeling was dulled, he can’t imagine the raw despair that his soulmate must feel on days like that.  
  
He has never personally known someone who felt their connection to their soulmate as much as he does. Sure, Jonas and Eva could sense when the other is feeling down or feeling excited, but they just got inklings. It never effected the other so much that they felt like they couldn’t have their own feelings. Like their soulmates feelings were drowning theirs out.  
  
Isak pushed back from Jonas, grabbed his shoulders. “I think maybe I might be able to help them now, but you have to help me, ok?” Jonas gave him a funny look, obviously confused by how quickly Isak’s mood had shifted.  
  
“Uh…yeah, I’ll help you, of course man.”  
  
Isak nodded his head, he let go of Jonas and power walked down the hallway, right past his classroom. Jonas, still confused, watched him from his position in front of the other boy’s locker. That was until Isak realized he wasn’t following and gestured wildly for him to get a move on.  
  
“Are you just not gonna go to the rest of your classes?” He asked when he caught up to him.  
  
“Hell no,” Isak said, and suddenly there was a smile on his face, one that Jonas hadn’t seen in forever. “That would just depress them more.”  
  
Jonas laughed and immediately felt terrible because of it. That was until Isak joined in. “See this is what I’m talking about!” Isak exclaimed, “this is what you need to help me with. We just have to have a really good day. We need to get kabobs and ride through the city. Maybe I’ll buy that hat I’ve been eyeing. I just have to feel happy all day, ok? None of this depressive school bullshit. Maybe if I’m happy enough he’ll be able to feel it.” It was only when Isak stopped walking, stalled in the middle of the empty hallway that Jonas realized what he just said. “He…”  
  
Jonas clapped the taller boy on the shoulder, “I’m sure he’ll be able to feel it.” The smile Jonas gave him was all Isak needed, and soon enough they were off again. Running through the halls not caring who saw them ditch. They were on a mission for happiness, and Nissen didn’t have much of that to offer. 

  


…  
Isak bought the hat. Isak and Jonas did all the things they loved to do most. They ate kabobs, they smoked weed, they went to Jonas’ house and played FIFA. They watched a sappy romcom with a really happy ending. They listened to 90’s gangsta rap. Jonas supplied Isak with beats as he tried and failed to freestyle. They listened to Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” and for once neither of them mentioned the fact that it was a ‘gay’ song. Isak could tell that he was happy, the sadness was still there but he could feel it lessening. So he and Jonas continued. They did everything and anything they could think of. They spent the whole day smiling and laughing. Isak couldn’t wipe the happiness off his face, even after Jonas left. 

…

Isak spent the rest of his first year trying to be as happy as possible. He and Jonas made it their mission. They worked together, Isak was there when Jonas was down, and Jonas was there for the days when Isak woke up feeling like he was underwater. Unable to take a breath. He was so deep under that the weight of the water was crushing him. Sometimes Jonas wasn’t able to cheer him up. Isak stayed in bed on those days, looking at his soul mark.  
  
His soul mark was on on his left bicep. A quarter shaped clock with no hour or seconds hand. The minute hand perpetually stuck at 21 past every hour. He wondered on those days if his soulmate was doing the same. He pressed his thumb into the center of it hard, hoping he could feel it. He wanted him to know that he was thinking of him.  
  
Then there were the days when he didn’t have to try and be happy, he just was. Days where his soulmate’s emotions weren’t so overpowering. There were also days where he would wake up with as much energy as the sun, and nights where he couldn’t sleep because of the electricity flowing through his veins. The ups and downs came in cycles.  
  
“Sounds like bipolar,” Magnus suggested at lunch one day, “my mother’s bipolar.”  
  
Isak went home that night and researched bipolar for hours, and knew that’s what it was. He was thankful to finally know what was going on. At the same time, some of the symptoms were scary. Mostly, knowing what was going on made Isak want to meet him that much more. He wanted to be able to do more to help him. What he was doing didn’t seem like enough.  
  
When second year came around so did Even Bech Næsheim a transfer student in 3rd year. It took some mild stalking in order for Isak to put a name to his (gorgeous) face. Once he did he looked all over social media, trying to find everything he could about him. He didn’t get very far. No social media accounts whatsoever. Just a video one of his friends had posted.  
  
The first time they talked was when Vilde paired them off for a Kosegruppa activity. “Isak, this is Even,” Vilde gestured between them, “and Even, this is Isak.” Isak reached out his hand for Even to shake, but it was really just an excuse to touch the taller boy. Even took his hand and the electricity that shot up his arm made Isak wonder for a moment if Even was wearing a trick buzzer. But no. It was just Even. Isak tried to meet his eyes, but Even kept skirting him.  
  
“Halla.” Isak said as their hands separated.  
  
“Halla,” Even returned, still not looking at him.  
  
“Should we start?” Isak asked after a thick silence. Even nodded in return, still not making eye contact with the shorter boy.  
  
They ran their lines and they ate the buns that Vilde had made and it was all very stilted. Under Even’s reserved exterior Isak could sense a nervousness running through him. He felt it too, Isak thought, the connection between them. The electricity. The bond.  
  
After the first Kosegruppa meeting, Isak didn’t see Even again for a few days. Not until the next Thursday.  
  
“He’s avoiding me,” he told Jonas at lunch after he’d made eye contact with Even in the hallway and he’d sprinted off.  
  
“He’s probably nervous man, give him some space. If it’s really him, it’ll happen eventually.”  
  
“It’s him Jonas. Couldn’t you feel it? When Eva transferred here, couldn’t you just tell?”  
  
Jonas’ eyes squinted up in contemplation, “I don’t know. I knew I really liked her, but I don’t know if I knew for sure before I saw her mark. But your connection has always been really strong, if you think it’s him, it’s probably him.”  
  
Isak’s tongue poked out between his teeth as he nodded his head. The connection he had with his soulmate was strong. Ever since puberty, when the soulmate bond really starts to develop, he’d known that his bond was special. He has tried to talk to his peers about what he was feeling, but no one was able to feel what he felt. He and his soulmate were special. He and Even were special. So why was Even avoiding him? Maybe even Even’s connection wasn’t as strong as Isak’s. Maybe Isak had been too obvious. He made it a point to stop trying to undress Even with his eyes in the hallway. He would wait to see if Even would come to him.

…

 

That weekend the boys pregamed at Isak’s before heading out to some 3rd years party. Mahdi was kind enough to share his weed with the rest of them, and within a half hour of being there Isak and the rest of the boys were high as a kite. By the time they stumbled out of the bathroom the party was twice the size as when they’d gone in. There was barely enough space to walk. The air was thick with the smell of booze and sweat. Shitty house music shook the walls.  
  
Isak shuffled his way through the crowd, finding a seat on the couch. He pulled out his phone, checking the time. Half past eight. His eyes went out of focus as a beer was shoved between his face and his phone. Jonas loomed over him, a hint of a smirk pulled on his lips.  
  
“What are you so happy about?” Isak asked, taking the beer and cracking it open. He took a big gulp.  
  
“Your boy’s here,” he said taking the seat next to him.  
  
“Oh yeah?”  
  
“Yeah, he’s over by the stairs,” Jonas pointed with his beer, “why don’t you go say hi?”  
  
“What happened to giving him space?” Isak laughed.  
  
“You’ve given him enough, maybe he needs a push.”  
  
Isak’s eyes locked onto Even. He was chatting with a group of 3rd years. Isak could see his eyes shining from his place on the couch. The taller boy lifted his beer to his lips, he took a big gulp, smiling around it his cheeks puffed out. He looked the happiest he’d ever seen him. And Isak, for the first time since the last manic episode, didn’t feel any of the usual sadness. Maybe it was because Even was drinking. Maybe Isak had smoked too much. It could have been a combination of the two. Or it could have been neither. It could have been that Even was actually happy.  
  
“He’s good today,” Isak shot a smile at Jonas, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t want to ruin a good night for him.”  
  
“Well I’m glad to hear he’s feeling good today, but I still think you should talk to him. It’s been long enough.”  
  
Isak continued to follow Even with his eyes, long after Jonas left to go check on Magnus and Mahdi. He watched long after he’d finished his first beer. He’d been past another 2 by the boys as they’d walked by. Those were gone now too. He was still watching. And Even was still smiling.  
  
His legs itched to carry him over there. His mind kept supplying him with vision of what might happen if he just let himself. He could almost feel Even’s golden hair between his fingers. And the wet heat of Even’s breath on his own lips.  
  
Isak pressed his thumb into his mark, hard enough to leave a bruise. He pressed until his hand was shaking from the effort. On the stairs, Isak saw Even reach for the hem of his left shirt sleeve. He pulled it up just slightly. Isak could see a round mark contrasting nicely with his pale skin. Even looked at his mark, he itched at it before letting his sleeve fall back down. When he looked back up his eyes went straight to Isak’s.  
  
His hot blue stare made Isak’s heart jump into his throat. He knew too. Isak had assumed he did, but now he had proof. Even Bech Næsheim was his soulmate. Isak wanted Even to look happy about it, like anyone else would look when they met their soulmate. Even didn’t look happy. He didn’t look like a boy who had just found the person who was made for him, who would love him unconditionally.  
  
Even knew. Even knew all this time. If he knew Isak was his soulmate, why had he tried so hard to keep it from Isak? Why didn’t he want to talk to him?  
  
It took another couple drinks before Isak decided he didn’t care if Even was having a good day. Jonas was right, it had been long enough. He tore through the people between them. Even glared at him the whole time, Isak took it as a challenge.  
  
“Why won’t you talk to me?” He wanted to come across angry, tried to school his face into a scowl, but his heaving chest and the way his voice cracked failed him. He could only manage broken. “You’re my soulmate, you’re supposed to want me.” He was drunk. He was so completely drunk. He felt his lip start to quiver. His eyes started to blur. “Why don’t you want me?”  
  
“Isak…” Even looked around them, the third years he’d been talking to had backed away thankfully leaving them somewhat alone. But Even grabbed his arm anyway and they speed walked out of the house. The cold air stung Isak’s hot cheeks as they stepped out onto the front porch. They were alone. The first time they were alone and Isak was crying and Even was angry and this was not how Isak had pictured it. Isak realized Even was still squeezing his bicep so he yanked his arm away. He started taking off his sweatshirt, as Even watched on in confusion.  
  
“What…”  
  
“Look at this,” Isak lifted up the hem of his left sleeve, “I know you have the same one.”  
  
Even kept skirting him. He wouldn’t look him in the eye. It pissed Isak off more than it probably would of if he’d been sober.  
  
“Just fucking look at me!” He yelled loud enough that people inside turned to look at them through the window. Even did as he said. Blue eyes met green. He held there long enough to make Isak slightly uncomfortable. Long enough for Isak to see them change from an angry ocean of blue into the blue of the morning sky, soft, calm, and just a touch sad. He lifted up his shirt sleeve then and extended his arm out in order to show Isak. It was the same clock. Same missing hands, same minute hand pointing to 21 past every hour.  
  
“What time is it?” Isak asked, dropping his arms suddenly, he fished for his phone in his pocket. He gasped when he pressed the power button and the time was illuminated. 21:21. He looked up at Even through his lashes, before turning the phone so he could see for himself. “I guess it was always supposed to happen like this,” Isak shrugged, trying to shuck off all the hurt and anguish he’d been feeling. Even just shook his head.  
  
“It didn’t have to happen like this,” he said. His voice was so quiet it was almost carried away by the wind. “I shouldn’t have been so passive with you, I’m sorry, Isak.”  
  
“All I want to know is why,” Isak took Even’s hand with his free one. “Is it…are you not gay? Or did you not think you were?”  
  
Even shook his head ‘no’, “No, nothing like that,” he said. “I didn’t…I was ashamed.”  
  
“What do you have to be ashamed about?” Isak crowded into him a little more, standing almost between his leg. Even’s gaze was aimed at the porch. The shorter boy stuffed his phone back into his pocket so he could use it to coerce Even to look at him, gently prodding his chip upward.  
  
“What I did, what I’ve been doing for years,” he took a deep breath, it rattled around unevenly in his throat, “I know how much pain I’ve caused you Isak. I didn’t ever want to hurt you but it was the only way for me to feel anything. And I’m sorry,” tears dripped silently down his face, “I’m so sorry.”  
  
Isak dropped the taller boys hand, Even responded immediately by shrinking in on himself taking the action as rejection. Isak could feel the tension in Even’s back when he wrapped himself tightly around him. It took a few moments, but soon Isak could feel his soulmate melting against him.  
  
“I’m bipolar,” a quiet confession that didn’t need to be made but Isak took it as a giant win in gaining Even’s trust.  
  
“I know,” Isak whispered back, “I figured it out last year. Magnus’ mother is bipolar; he was able to tell me a lot about it.” He felt Even nod from where he was tucked in the space between Isak’s shoulder and neck. He sniffled in Isak’s ear. “I tried to help,” Isak added, “I tried to be as happy as possible so that you could feel it. Our connection has always been so strong- I just thought it might help to do that. I know it probably wasn’t much-”  
  
“It was everything Isak,” Even pushed back, made their teary eyes meet. “Knowing you were out there happy, thinking about me… You saved me so many times.”  
  
Isak grabbed onto Even’s bicep, he ran his thumb over the mark they shared. The mark he would press into every time things were really low hoping that his soulmate would feel it. And he had. And it had helped. Isak smiled to himself.  
  
“And what happens now?”  
  
“Now,” Even leaned in close, his warm breath ticking Isak’s pursed lips, “I save you back.”


	2. Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a one shot, but I wanted to explore how parallel universes would fit into this world since it's such a big part of Evak's story. So enjoy! I can't promise there will be more in this verse but I'm open to any prompts!

No one is born as nothing. You’re born and you’re automatically someone’s son or daughter. Someone’s grandchild. Someone’s niece or nephew. You become someone’s best friend. But it’s before you’re born that you become someone’s soulmate. 

Even didn’t believe in God. Not in the typical sense. He believed in a higher power, he was sure there had to be one, because how else would soulmates be prescribed? How else could you be born with a soul mark that matched someone else’s, years before the other person was even born? Even believed in something, he just could never put his finger on what it was exactly that he believed in. 

It was hard not knowing. Or, Even guessed, it was hard not being able to put an image to the idea. He almost wanted to believe in God so that he’d have someone to turn to when just going through the motions was too much. When the fog settled thickly in his brain and he couldn’t find the way out of his own thoughts. 

He tried to explain all of this to Isak one night as they held each other on Isak’s bed. The younger boy’s head was rested on his chest; his hands were caught up in Isak’s curls. Isak had asked him, after a particularly tough conversation with his mother, if he believed in God. 

“I don’t even know if I believe in a higher power,” Isak had said after listening to Even as he’d rambled nonsense, wholly unable to get his thoughts out in a clear and concise manner. 

“If there’s no higher power how would you explain soulmates and soul marks?”

“I’m not sure,” he confessed, he looked up at Even through his eyelashes, a crease formed in between his eyebrows, “I think because of my mom I’ve spent so much time thinking God was the only answer, the only way to think of a higher power, that once I was able to see beyond all of her bullshit I decided if there was a higher power who would spread that kind of hate that I’d rather there not be any higher power at all. Because if they’re right, and God is it, and he lets them behave the way they do, and lets them believe that what they’re preaching is right then I want nothing to do with it.” 

“What do you believe in then?” 

“The universe… parallel universes. I mean if you think about it, the soulmate bond has only been around for 100 or so years. The idea of God and the idea of a higher power in general has been around for far longer. God could have just suddenly decided to help us out, by why now? Why not thousands of years ago? If there is a guy named God upstairs who had no problem with gay people don’t you think he would have made it clear much sooner than now? Gay people, queer people in general have been othered for so long, they have suffered for so long. I think if there was a God he would have helped us out a lot sooner.” 

“But then how did the soulmate bond come to be? Like, if there is no one up there playing us like a game of Sims, how did these marks just all of a sudden start popping up?”  
“Possibly two universes collided. Maybe humans started using a bit more of their brains. Maybe we just evolved a little bit more. I’m not going to pretend to have the answer. All I can do is hope that the soulmate bond wasn’t put in place by the same power who let us suffer for so long.” 

“I like the idea of the universes colliding,” Even ran his thumb over the crease in Isak’s brow, smoothing it out, “it would be very fitting, don’t you think? Two universes colliding so that all these soulmates could find each other, collide with each other.” 

“Yeah,” A smile pulled onto Isak’s face. The way his eyes crinkled up awakened a swarm of butterflies in Even’s stomach. “That’s my favorite theory too.” 

“Do you think we were supposed to be soulmate in both of the universes? Or did one overpower the other?” 

“I think that’s what being soulmates is all about, I think that we’re supposed to be together in every universe, no matter what.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Even’s eyes drifted up to the ceiling, his brain filled with images of them in a different room, in a different country, in a different century. Always them. Always finding each other. Together in every possible universe. They are always meant to find one another, not always like this, but one way or another their lives were meant to collide. 

“It’s a nice thought.” 

“It doesn’t always happen in every universe, obviously, it can’t. But it’s always supposed to happen.”

Even looked down to look into Isak’s green eyes, he dropped a kiss to the shorter boy’s forehead. “I’m very thankful that we’ve met in this universe. I don’t think I would have made it this far without the soulmate mark to remind me that you were out there, that I had something, someone, to live for.”

A wet sheen made Isak’s eyes glint in the dim light of the bedside lamp, “Evy-” 

“I know it’s cliché, and I’m romanticizing, but I know it would have been too much to deal with on my own. Being able to feel you there… you really did save me, Isak.” 

Isak stretched up, their lips came together softly, quickly turning more heated. It had been about 4 months since the third year’s party. They’d spent so many nights together Even had all but moved in. He’d even been added to the Kollektivet. After the initial turbulence they both realized how nice it was, knowing that they were for all intents and purposes made for each other. They could love each other freely, with out having to worry about future heart break. 

They pulled apart, breathless, they stared at each other. They wore matching smiles. They could feel each other’s happiness; they always knew because they took different forms. For Even happiness was butterflies and fidgets, for Isak it was a pounding heart and flushed cheeks. 

“We saved each other,” Isak said, still a little breathless, “that’s why we’re soulmates. That’s what it’s all about. Everyone is fighting a battle, only your soulmate can truly know what you’re going through. That’s why we seek each other out; people need people. We need people who understand all the messed up shit going on inside us, and will still come out the other end loving us.” 

“I will love you, always. No matter what messed up shit is going on in that brain of yours.” 

“Ditto,” Isak chuckled. 

“’Ditto’? I profess my unconditional love for you and all I get is a ‘ditto’?”

Isak barked out a laugh, clutching at his stomach, “you should really get that on a t-shirt.” 

“How ‘bout I get ‘Isak Valtersen is a big jerk’ on a t-shirt instead?” Even used his hand to space out the words across his chest, the serious look on his face only made Isak laugh again. It took a moment but Even eventually joined in with a few chuckles and a smile that made his shining eyes squinty. 

When the chuckles died off Isak ducked his head, kissing the center of Even’s chest. He spread his palm over where he’d just kissed, his pointer finger moving in a circular motion over the taller boy’s sternum. “I love you too, Evy, never let yourself forget that. I’m here,” he said, pressing his finger into Even’s flushed flesh, “I’m always with you, in here. In every universe there is or ever will be. I’ll be right here.” 

Even brought his mouth to Isak’s, hovering a breath above his lips. He could feel Isak’s hot breath stutter. He pulled back just enough for their eyes to meet and whispered, “Ditto.”


End file.
